Children's Museum Day!

You and your family are cordially invited to join us for a day at the Children's Museum of Houston (lunch included)...Our Treat!!!

This is our way of ending one year and kicking off a new one.

Please make sure you RSVP (sylviasudeth@gmail.com) so we know about what to plan for! 
Date:  December 28th, 2010, 10am

Location:   Children's Museum of Houston

Address:   1500 Binz St Houston, Texas 77004

We are looking forward to hosting the Area FSA Conference in September 2011. Please be thinking about what presentations you'd be interested in hearing and then let us know!

Thanks!

A BIG thanks to all those who posted a story over this past month.  I for one loved reading all of your stories and being reminded over and over what an amazing and unique experience we all have with our adoptions.  If you would still like to share your stories with us, we would love to continue posting them.  So send them our way.  :)

Here is a link to a great blog with some good "what do you talk about" suggestions for meeting birth families and getting to know them a little better.

http://therhouse.blogspot.com/2010/11/what-do-you-ask.html

Again, thanks for all of your stories!

Adoption: A Spiritual Experience

When people ask us about our adoption story, our first response is that it was so much more than an adoption story …it was a spiritual experience for us.

Like so many couples, we too faced difficult trials over the years following our marriage with infertility. Heartache, sadness, the emotional roller coaster of failed fertility treatments and overall trials of our faith…you name it, we probably experienced it during this phase of our lives as we desperately tried to grow our family. But like so many, we finally came to the conclusion through sincere fasting, prayer and several priesthood blessings that adoption was the path our Heavenly Father wanted us to be on.

In 2005, we began our paperwork with the LDS Family Services-Houston office. In the midst of completing the paperwork, a job opportunity and move brought us back to East Texas to live (where both Jody and I grew up) and our adoption file was transferred to the LDS Family Services-Dallas office as a result. We felt such love and support from the Dallas office during this time as we worked to complete our necessary adoption paperwork. They were amazingly supportive and attentive through the entire process. We were approved in early 2006 and added to the waiting list of adopting couples. It was an exciting time yet also a time where we had to put our trust in the Lord and know that He would lead us to our son or daughter someday if we would just be patient in His timing.

In June of that same year, we received a call from our adoption counselor with what he called a rather unconventional request. A birthmom had been holding on to our profile for some time and had requested to speak with us on the phone. Our adoption counselor explained that this was not normally something that was done and wanted to know if we were comfortable speaking with her. We didn’t think twice about it…in our minds, we really didn’t have anything to lose by doing so. At least it was an opportunity for us to talk with a birthmom, something neither of us had an opportunity to do prior to this. So the next evening we got a phone call from her. I remember Jody and I both being on separate phones in our house and my heart was pounding so fast as we began our conversation. We really had no idea what to expect and what she might ask us. Over the course of our conversation, she told us about herself and her family. How she had come to the decision to place her baby and that she had received our profile in March and for some reason, kept coming back to us in her search for adoptive parents. She explained to us that she had narrowed her decision down to us and another couple from a different adoption agency. We also learned that she was having a baby boy and was due at the end of August. We ended the conversation by telling her how much we admired her for her decision to place her child and encouraged her to pray about her decision and the feelings she had while she was on the phone with us. Jody told her that if she felt strongly after praying about it that she should place her son with the other couple, then that is what she should do. Our feelings would not be hurt because we wanted her to make the decision that she felt would be best for her son. We told her we were so grateful for the opportunity to speak with her and to get to know her better. And, after two hours talking, our conversation ended.

A few days later we got a call from our adoption counselor saying that the birthmom had more questions for us but that she had requested we meet in person. Again, he wanted to know if we were comfortable doing this. And once again, we didn’t think twice about it. We were ecstatic to have this opportunity to meet her in person. The next day we drove to Dallas to meet her.

I will never forget that day as long as I live.... when she walked into the room, 8 months pregnant, we were overwhelmed with love for this dear mother. The magnitude of her decision hit us both like a ton of bricks and we had to fight back our tears. We saw and felt firsthand the immense courage she had to put her child's needs above her own wants and desires. We weren't quite sure what would occur during our meeting, for we were under the impression she was still trying to make her decision as to who her son’s adoptive parents would be.

Within 5 minutes of sitting down with her and talking more about our lives...she very calmly said, "I have made my decision and I want you to adopt my baby." She then went on to say how she knew this the minute we got off the phone with her during our initial phone conversation (a few days prior); however, she had waited purposely to tell us because she wanted to see and feel our reaction in person when we heard the news. Tears of heartfelt joy and gratitude flowed freely at this moment--by all three of us. And despite the fact that we walked into that room on that day as strangers, we embraced each other as parents together --all three of us. It felt as if we had known each other long before this meeting.

We also had a chance to meet another special person on this day… a special lady who played an important role in all of this. For you see, our birthmother was not of the same faith as us; however, she became associated with our church after her mother joined several years ago. Soon after our birthmom found out she was pregnant, a dear sister (Jeannine) in her mother's ward befriended her. Jeannine, at the time, was serving as the liaison for the church and birthmothers in her area. Jeannine introduced our birthmom to LDS Family Services. Because our birthmother did not have adequate transportation or the financial means to travel to the Dallas LDS Family Services office on her own, Jeannine drove her (a 2 hour round trip) once a month...sometimes twice a month....to meet with the adoption counselor and look at prospective adoptive couple profiles.

We learned in our conversation with Jeannine that as they would make their drive to the Dallas office, our birthmom began to open up to her about the tough decision she had ahead of her. Jeannine would patiently and thoughtfully listen to her during these discussions and offer up counsel when asked.

What amazed us in our conversation with Jeannine was when she explained how she herself began to receive strong promptings from the Spirit that we were to be Little Man's parents. We (yet again) were humbled beyond words as we listened to her share this experience and the realization that both she and the birthmom had received powerful promptings from Heavenly Father about our son coming to our home.

What a reminder this was for us that God's hand is in our lives...sometimes when we don't even realize it. We will forever be grateful to Jeannine for listening and heeding the promptings of the still, small voice by continuing her Christ-like service to our birthmother.

Just one month after our son was born; Jeannine was called to be the Relief Society President in her ward and therefore was released from her calling of working with birthmothers. You might find it interesting to know also that during this time, our son’s biological mother was the only birthmother Jeannine had the opportunity to work with. We believe that she was called to serve in this role for one single purpose...to help Heavenly Father get our son to us.

On May 19, 2007, we had the tremendous blessing of having Jeannine, along with our son’s biological grandmother, join us in the temple the day he was sealed to us. It meant the world to us to have them both there to share this special moment with us.

Adoption is a path that is uncharted in so many ways...especially when you are experiencing it for the first time. We never imagined when we first began this journey that we would have the opportunity to become so intimately acquainted with our birthmother. Through this process, we were blessed to see and feel firsthand the deeply thoughtful journey she embarked on to select us as his adoptive parents.

It is our prayer that our son will come to know and understand as he grows older that she loved him dearly and this is why she chose adoption. We want him to know that his Father in Heaven’s hand was in his life from the very beginning, watching over and protecting him. How truly blessed we are to be his parents in this life and to be a forever family in the life to come. All blessings that came to us through the gift of adoption.

Double the blessing

When Dan and I had been married 2 years, we decided we were ready to start a family. 20 months later I finally became pregnant, and we were blessed with our Tyler. I had just met with my obgyn to discuss infertility issues, but we hadn't done more than a round of blood work, when I got pregnant.

Knowing that it took a long time to get pregnant the first time around, when Tyler was 18 months we decided to start trying again. Well, 2 years and 2 moves later we finally met with a Reproductive Endocrinologist who could find nothing wrong with either of us. My official diagnosis was unexplained infertility and my options were to try IVF or wait and see.

We hesitated to try IVF due to some of my health issues, and opted instead to wait and see (after all, it happened once). This was in the summer of 2007. It was at this same time that we started looking into adoption.

Once we decided to begin the adoption process, it took several months to get our file complete. We began with LDS Family Services, and shortly after our approval (May 2008) were chosen by a birthmother. Unfortunately, she changed her mind just before the baby was born.

At the time I was devastated. This was something good, something we wanted for a very long time, and I didn't understand why we didn't get it. Throughout the experience I have had to learn to not only trust God, but trust his time table as well. The only thing that got me through was to realize that when it was time for our baby to join our family, he would find his way to us. (All along, I felt we would be adopting a boy.)

After several more months, we began to wonder if we should keep on this path. Then one day, in the fall of 2008, my mom called. It was one of those friend of a friend situations, and she gave us the name of a private agency in Utah. We felt they were an answer to our prayers. We liked LDSFS, but unfortunately it is hard to be placed with them simply because there are so many people that want to adopt and few babies to place. We thought this was a great way to increase our chances of being chosen.

We were approved by the new agency in January 2009. We were chosen by a birthmother in February, and yet again experienced a failed adoption.

Finally, comes June 2009. By this time we had been waiting 4 years to add to our family. We got a call from the agency asking if they could show our profile to a birthmom pregnant with twins. We agreed. (As a note, if we hadn't experienced that second failed adoption, I don't know if we would have agreed to twins. We had already paid our fee to the agency, and so it wasn't so overwhelming to come up with the twin fee. If we had to come up with the twin fee all at once, I don't know that we could have. I have to believe that everything happens for a reason.)

We felt so strongly that this was our time. These boys were meant to come to us. We sweated and prayed all weekend long though as the birthmother made her decision. Finally we got word, she had chosen us. The agency called us on Friday, she gave birth Saturday, we flew out to Utah on Sunday, and we met our sweet babies on Monday.

After one month in the NICU, we brought the babies home to Texas and have loved on them since. The adoption was made final December 21, 2009.

I don't have the answers to everything, but I do find it interesting to look back out our journey and have some insight as to why things happened. To get our path to cross with the babies, to have the timing of things line up, to get our finances to fall into place, everything just came together at the right time. At the time, every setback felt like the end of the world, but was actually just a fork in a path that was leading us to the end goal. I am so glad we finally got there.

A birth mother speaks

Adoption has changed my life. I found myself pregnant at a young age and I knew my life would never be the same. I grew up quickly and realized that I had to start making some very important decisions that would change my life and the life of my child. I chose to look into adoption with LDS Family Services.


The farther along I got in my pregnancy the stronger love and connection I felt to my baby girl. I knew that I wanted to give her the world. I wanted her to have a life that would bring her happiness and security. I loved her so much and I just wanted what was best for her and I knew that placing her with a stable family would provide her with opportunities in life that I could not give her. If I had loved her any less, I would not have been able to place her.

Now, four years later, I know that adoption was not only the right choice for my daughter but also the right choice for me. Since my adoption, I have seen the Lord’s hand in life guiding me and helping me find my way. I was able to move forward with my life and pursue my dreams. I have been blessed with the opportunity to go to college and further my education. I have also met an amazing young man and was married to him a year ago in the temple. Without adoption, I do not know that I would be where I am in life. Anna, my daughter, was no mistake, and I firmly believe Heavenly Father knew what He was doing when He sent her to me. I know that she is where she was meant to be and that her adoptive family is truly the family she was born to be a part of. Adoption has changed my life for the better.

Tara

It was meant to be

Adoption has to be the best thing that ever happened to me to help me grow my family. I was unable to have children naturally and after experiencing many painful miscarriages even with in vitro fertilization, I turned to adoption. I knew there were so many babies that needed homes too. At the time, I had been trying for 11 years to have a child without success. My husband and I attended a seminar on foreign adoption because at that point I had many misconceptions about domestic adoptions. A week later, I was told about a baby and I contacted the adoption agency. I actually took care of this baby in the NICU and she and I bonded instantly. I got an interview with the agency the next week and the social worker said we could have her by the end of the week when we got all our paperwork in. Wow! It was so fast! I sent pictures to my family. My mom got her pictures a few days later and she passed away later that day from an asthma attack at age 47. I know Heavenly father's hand was in the timing of this baby coming into my life at this time after waiting for so many years for her. Since then my life has been forever changed for the better because of this sweet spirit.


A few years later, the agency called me and said, "Your daughter is going to be three this year. Don't you want another baby?" Of course I did, but I was just so thankful for the one I had been blessed with. We were expecting a girl a few months from then so I had some time to do the paperwork, but a few days later the agency called back saying there was a little boy just born and we could have him. I was so thrilled! I know these adoptions are not the typical waiting game everyone has to play. They are now 14 and 11, respectively.

With our third child, we waited and waited just like everyone else. The waiting seemed endless and often wondered when our baby was coming. But I know the right baby goes to the right family when the time is right. This past May we adopted our sweet baby girl, for whom we waited for what seemed like an eternity. Extended family here and abroad accept our children as much as they would biological children. I have no doubt that if I had been able to carry a child, they would have had the same spirits these have. Our family is meant to be the way it is and I couldn't love my kids with any greater love than I have for them. They know they are special, they are chosen. They were wanted so greatly by their parents. I am so grateful for adoption and how it helped my family. I cannot imagine going through this life without my dear, sweet children. I cannot recommend anything greater than adoption for bringing children into homes. It was meant to be.

Patty O.

Our Hope to Adopt

My husband, Jacob, and I (Kim) married in December 2002, young and in love. Jacob was finishing his bachelor’s degree and applying to dental school, while I worked full time, so we felt that we needed to wait just a few years before trying to start a family. About a year later it came as quite a surprise that I was pregnant! We were shocked but happy, and then devastated to find out a few weeks later that it was an ectopic pregnancy that I had to have emergency surgery to remove.


In June 2005, while Jacob was in dental school, we felt that it was now the right time to try to conceive. In the back of both of our minds though was the thought that it would be harder to get pregnant this time. It was difficult to go through the disappointment each month, especially when it seemed that all of our friends were having children, and we were not having our dreams fulfilled. After another exploratory surgery a few years later, we still did not know why I wasn’t able to get pregnant, leaving us frustrated and a little hopeless.

During Jacob’s dental residency in December 2008 I had another surgery; this time it was to remove cysts from my ovaries. At least that’s what I thought going into the operating room. When I woke up, Jacob told me that I actually didn’t have cysts, but that my fallopian tubes were swollen with fluid, a condition called hydrosalpinx. Since both of the tubes were blocked, the doctor felt it was best to remove them. It was hard news to hear, but at the same time, I was relieved to finally have an answer as to why I hadn’t been able to conceive.

Only a few days after receiving this diagnosis, Jacob was ready to move on to adoption, while I was researching in vitro fertilization. Jacob was very concerned for my health, and tired of seeing me go through so many tests and surgeries, and I was too. After several weeks spent studying both options and many, many prayers and tears, we both came to know that adoption was the way our children would come into our family. The relief I felt after making that decision is hard to explain. It really was like a burden was lifted off my shoulders. It brought peace to both of us. We were happy and hopeful and excited to get started with the adoption process. It took us quite a while to actually finish all the paperwork since we were in the middle of finding a new job and moving across the country. But after Christmas last year, we pushed through it and were approved in February. That was a joyful day!

I am grateful for the experience I’ve had of infertility because it has taught me so much patience and compassion for others going through similar trials. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and he knows what is best for our family. I have come to understand the Atonement better and have grown closer to my Savior, Jesus Christ. I love him and know I can turn to him when I’m having a hard day. My husband and I are so excited to have our family grow through adoption and to welcome a little one into our home! We have already been blessed by adoption because of all the wonderful people we’ve met who have helped us along this journey. We also feel blessed by the hope adoption has brought into our lives, and are thankful we are privileged to be a part of it!

An Adopted Child’s Story

Madeline – Age 13

Being an adopted child is a blessing. Adoption can bring miracles to people, like my parents. Adopted children are no different than any other children; it’s just that we have two sets of parents. I was adopted when I was a newborn so nothing seems odd.

My parents wanted a child and Heavenly Father led and guided my birthmother to them. My parents are my parents and they don’t treat me any different because I look different. I am their child and they love me. I am Heavenly Father’s child and He loves me. My parents are such a huge and wonderful blessing to me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hope to someday be just like them.

I have thought about my birthparents many times. I remember from a young age asking my mom why I was brown and she and my dad were white. I also remember when I was around eight years old I started asking questions about my birthparents; like what did they look like and how could my birthmother give me up? I’ve had many talks with my parents and they have always told me how blessed they are to have me in their lives and how much Heavenly Father loves and cares for each of us. They told me it was natural to have a longing to know my birthmother more, and it is okay to have these feelings, they say it’s kind of like feeling homesick.

Over the years my mom has told me about my birthparents and has shown me a few pictures of my birth mom and birth dad. Now I often picture her in my mind and think about the day I will meet them both. I don’t know where or when but I will meet them; if not in this life then in the next, but I know I will meet them. I will always be grateful to them because I wouldn’t be who or where I am in my life today without the choice they made. I am also grateful to them for my sister who came from the same birthparents.

I love my Heavenly Father and I thank Him every day for putting me on this earth and leading my birthmother to my parents. I am very blessed to have them. I’m grateful for the opportunity to write this and express my feelings about my adoption. I love my parents dearly, and I’m grateful to Heavenly Father for putting me into a family who loves, cares and helps me every day of my life.

Adoption is one of my greatest blessings and it will always be!

Adoption is a miracle, it is our miracle!

Tim & I have known each other a lifetime. We have been married twenty eight years. His grandparents lived down the street from my parents before we were ever born. As children we sometimes played together; I can even remember thinking how cute he was on one of those visits when I was eleven or twelve. A few years later at the age of eighteen, after a long three month courtship, I was engaged to the boy next door, sort of. We were married one year and one week after our official first date. We knew we were kindred spirits and felt as though we were meant to be together our whole lives.


We both loved children and decided a family with six children sounded perfect. The plan was to have our first two children one right after another; we just knew they would be the best of friends. Three months after we were married, our journey to build our family began. It was not as simple as we thought.

Things were different 28 years ago, and infertility was just on the cusp of what it is today. Fortunately for us we lived near Los Angeles, California where the leading infertility specialist in the country lived and worked. Unfortunately, it was very expensive and not covered by insurance at all. After a few years of daily injections, ultrasounds and many other things, we had no baby, and not even a close encounter with one. My heart was breaking and so was Tim’s. We both loved children so much and felt as though our arms would never hold a child.

The good thing about going to the top infertility doctor in the country was that he was the top INFERTILITY doctor in the country. I mean my goodness other doctors called HIM for advice! The bad thing was, in subsequent years as we moved further from LA, and we’d visit other doctors, their first response was, “You went to Dr. so and so, he is the leading physician in this field, if he couldn’t help you conceive, more than likely I won’t either, but I’ll give it a shot.” Needless to say our arms stayed empty for several years.

After a couple of years of trying for our own baby, we decided to file our adoption papers and continue to try as we waited. At the adoption orientation meeting we were told it would be five or six years before our names would come up to really start the whole process. We waited, and hoped with each passing month that a miracle would happen.

Many things in our lives changed over those years of waiting. We were blessed to have nieces and nephews who filled our home and hearts with much love and satisfaction but the yearning for our own family never stopped. We tried fooling ourselves a couple of times saying, “It’s not that bad not having children, we love each other, our lives are good, maybe this is what’s meant to be”.

Then it happened, after seven years of waiting our name came up. We completed a mountain of paperwork, went to several classes, became licensed foster parents, and started waiting again. During this second period of waiting we joined the LDS church and our lives seemed glorious, everything seemed to be falling in place. At the one year visit with our adoption worker we proudly asked her to please change our religious status from Catholic to LDS, she advised us not to do that but we graciously declined. Call it naïve, but we had no idea being “Mormon” was a bad thing, as a matter of fact we were telling everyone that would listen about our conversion.

The waiting continued. At a meeting with our Bishop he told us about LDS Family Services, and after being sealed in the temple we could start their adoption process. We decided we had waited so long on the other list that we were just too close; we wanted to stay with our original agency. Two years passed from the time we began our home study and still no signs of a baby. During this time we did however, have an opportunity for a private adoption, through a friend, which failed after having a little one in our home for ten glorious months. Would the heartbreak ever end? Could we do this again? Needless to say, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and we learn so much from the trials we endure.

With the help of some investigative work by our friends, we came to the conclusion that our name was never going to come up on our agency’s list due to circumstances that would not change; our religion. We finally listened to our bishop and put our papers in with LDS Family Services. It was a completely different experience. We felt the spirit from the moment we walked in the door. We felt the love of those who worked there and we felt like finally someone cared enough to see that the two people in front of them were more than a number, we were future parents! After eleven years of waiting, within eight months our son was placed in our arms – this time for good. At that time, we were the swiftest placement in the history of the agency. We were grateful to our Heavenly Father for His compassion and mercy on us.

Life hasn’t been the same for us since. We now have three beautiful children. Every one of them have been passed from the loving hands of our Heavenly Father, to their birthparents and then to us. Each one comes with their own, very personal, set of miracles. We have seen the Lord’s hand in every one of our adoptions. We know without a doubt that every one of our children was meant to be part of our eternal family.

The real beauty in adoption doesn’t lie with the adoptive parents at all. The real beauty lies in the hands of those whose sacrifice everything they love for something bigger than themselves. We know the sacrifice it takes for a mother and father to place that special someone in someone else’s arms and trust that the Lord will watch over them and protect them. They above many know the true meaning of the Atonement; they experience pain for someone else’s joy and for the greater good of the child. They are given a very small taste of what Heavenly Father must have felt when his son atoned for the sins of each of us.

We are eternally grateful to our children’s birth parents. We know it is only through their sacrifice that we are able to experience such happiness. We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our children were meant to be in our home. We could take up pages with the stories of the miracles that happened to us along the way, but the greater story here is the story of two people who give it all, for two people they don’t even know and a baby they love beyond measure. We thank Heavenly Father everyday for the blessing of our children. I can honestly say that I am grateful that things didn’t come easy for us. I don’t believe we would have appreciated being parents near as much as we do now.

Adoption is a miracle, it is our miracle.

A Family Coming Together

It's so funny that Sylvia approached me about sharing my story about my adoption. Not so long ago, I'd sat down with my parents and listened to an old tape that they had recorded together - documenting their adventures while coming to find me. We shared many laughs that day.


My father had served in the Vietnam War. I remember him telling me stories when I was younger about the local Vietnamese women there trying to give the American soldiers their babies. Begging them to take them to America. It was heartbreaking that of course, they could not do this for them. My father always knew from that point on that he would one day adopt from Asia.

My name is KoriLin (Lunt) Hillig. My birth date isn't my "real" birth date. No one actually knows when I was born or where I was born. My Korean given name wasn't my actual Korean given name either... I suppose that I will continue to be in the dark about much of my infant life for some time to come - and that's perfectly okay with me.

My (adoptive - though I never use this word - they are in fact my parents in every sense of the word) parents struggled for quite some time to have a baby. I'm sure you've all heard this story before. My father was in the Army. My mother was a stay at home wife who couldn’t wait to start a little family of their own. They had sent out letters all over Asia only to get letter after letter back telling them that they had no available babies for them to see. After months, they finally received an answer to their many prayers. They received a letter back from Korea with good news!

They were stationed in Japan and immediately made travel arrangements with the little money that they had saved and jumped on a plane (with no real plans) for Korea. Crazy! I learned recently from them that they had actually begun their travels to Korea before I was ever brought to the hospital there. I hadn't even been abandoned yet.

Upon their arrival at the Seoul hospital (I never made it to the orphanage) they were told that they were only able to see one child - a little girl. Needless to say my parents were a bit shocked. They were under the impression that they would be seeing several babies and/or children. My mom told me that my dad looked at her and said, "If she is sick, we can't take her." They had witnessed friends who were in or had gone through the adoption process put forth all of their love, hearts and souls into their children... only to lose them due to infection and/or sickness and then be asked to "choose another" child because theirs had died. Being a mother now... I cannot imagine this - I just can't. It's heartbreaking.

My parents were led into a room where there were dozens and dozens of orphaned babies, toddlers and older children who were on their way to the orphanage in Inchon, Korea. They were terrified of my parents - after all, they looked so different from them. But there was one baby. She was being held by a nurse. She was chubby and healthy and smiling from ear to ear. She began to squeal with delight and hold her arms out towards these two strangers -as if she were begging them to hurry to her - as if she'd been waiting for them. My father looked at the nurses who were stunned. He then looked at my mother and then back at the nurses again and asked, "Is that her? We'll take her!!!"

Yes, that little baby was me. I couldn't have been more than several months old. My parents smile and love to tell people that they did not choose me, but that I chose them. They've also shared with me that I was not like the other babies in the hospital. I had been well fed. I was not sickly. I was dressed nicely and groomed very well. They have let me know all of my life that whoever had been blessed with me first, must have really loved me and taken care of me for as long as they could have before, for whatever reason, let me go. I was abandoned in a very public park. So many other babies in Asia were being left in the streets, thrown in garbage cans or drowned. I was very fortunate and very blessed.

During my adoption process, my parents discovered my mother was pregnant. I'm sure you've all heard this story as well. It was never a question for them though on whether or not they would proceed with my adoption. I was already their daughter; they were already my parents.

I am the oldest of five. My parents, my sisters, my brothers and I couldn't be closer. I remember the first time that my sister Lori and I (we are 11 months apart) were playing on the swings outside. We must have been 4 and 5. She was thirsty and drank out of my water bottle. A little boy told us that we were gross because we didn't have the same germs because I was adopted. Needless to say, we were devastated. We ran back to my parents sobbing because although we never noticed it, someone had just pointed out that we weren't the same.

I don't remember what my parents said to us that day - but it must have been something great because to this very day, we (my sisters and brothers and I) are the ones who look at people like they're the crazy ones when they ask how we're all related. Did I mention that my youngest brother Adam was also adopted from Korea? =)

I have toyed with the idea of meeting my biological family someday - if I even knew where to start. I've never actually followed through and tried to find them though. For me, THIS is my family. These are my sisters. These are my brothers. I am so grateful to the family I was born into, that they would bring me into this beautiful world to be raised by the Lunts. How blessed and fortunate I have been to find "my place" in this huge, huge world and in a whole different country at such a young age.

I remember like it was yesterday when my younger brother Bryan (Bryan is my parents "biological" son) was killed in a car accident when we lived in Hawaii. He was 6 years old. I was almost 10. My father was at work. My mother was inside cooking dinner. The other boys were all riding their Big Wheels down the hills in front of our houses and into the parking lot. Bryan knew he wasn't allowed to do this. It was dangerous. He'd asked me if he could ride down the hill one more time. The last thing I would ever say to him was, "Okay, I won't tell mom."

I tell this story because it's so important to me now. If I'd never thought of it then (and I didn't) then I surely must have now (and I have). My parents and my siblings went out of their way to love me, to let me know that this was not my fault. Not once was it ever pointed out that Bryan was their child and that biologically I was not.

I am 37 years old and have never thought of myself as being "adopted" - but I am. And I am so, so grateful for adoption. It is a powerful, powerful process that brings families together. It may not be through the traditional ways of the past.

I have always said, "It doesn't matter how we get to our families. It only matters that we get there."

Three Miracles

I am the mother of three beautiful children who came to us through the love and sacrifice of amazing birth mothers.


I will forever be amazed by the miracle of adoption and the Lord’s hand in it all. That is exactly what adoption is, a miracle. For many years my husband and I waited and wondered when our children would come. It was about a year before our first child came to our family we finally decided to go forward with all that is involved with becoming certified and ready to adopt. On the morning we decided to send in our first application, my husband opened up the Church News and the cover story was of a couple and their experience with adoption. The thing that hit me from the article was a statement by one of the General Authorities, “There is more than one way to multiply and replenish the earth.” And I realized that if we adopt a child they will be sealed to us – as if they had been born to us - they will really be our children. Not long after we had decided to adopt we were given great counsel, we were told that we would not be waiting for a baby, but we would be waiting for our baby. Just as the Lord sends children to families through natural birth, His hand is in the adoption process and eternal families can be built through adoption. We know that birth mothers spend a lot of time in prayer to choose the parents of her unborn child. And we were encouraged to pray for the mother, even before we know her. I know that my children were meant to be a part of our family. There really are no coincidences in adoption.

Each time we were chosen to be adoptive parents there were so many things that just seemed to fall into place at just the right time. With our first we were able to get the last seats on the last flight that got us to the hospital just minutes before our placement was scheduled. With our second we had been living in Texas for about 6 months and had been certified for a short time when we decided to finally get our profile on-line. That same day our caseworker learned of a birth mother living out of sate who was searching for a family living in Texas, she chose us. Our third came four weeks early. The day he was born started out like any other day, then we got a phone call letting us know that our birth mom was in labor. We didn’t have anything ready. I was on the phone all day, quickly went through baby boy clothes, pulled the car seat out of the attic, arranged babysitters for our other children, and in a matter of hours my husband and I were on our way to the airport to welcome our newest little one into our family.

Each time we were chosen it also took much patience, prayer and fasting to bring them finally home. Issues come up between birth and placement that are totally out of our control. There were times when we had to wait much longer than anticipated, wondering day by day what the outcome would be. It is through those times that my faith has been strengthened. I know that if we put our faith and trust in the Lord and do all that we can do, He’ll take care of the rest. He is watching over us all and he has a plan for all of His children.

I will forever be grateful for the love and sacrifice of our children’s birth mothers. Their sacrifice for us exemplifies the spirit of sacrifice and love taught by the Savior and shows such great love. One day not too long ago I was sitting in a rare quiet moment watching my two oldest play and holding my baby close and felt so blessed thinking of how my children came to me, so grateful for their birth moms and ultimately acknowledging the love of the Lord and how He directs all our lives and leads us to where we should be. We have open relationships with our birth moms and some of their family members. I am so grateful that my children have so many people who love them.

One of the greatest blessing of adoption is being able to take our children to the temple. It is such a special thing to be able to take our little ones to the temple to perform an ordinance that will keep us together, as a family, forever. When we took our daughter to the temple she was only five months old. She was perfect little angel all dressed in white, grabbed her daddy’s thumb during the ordinance like she knew what was happening and held on until the sealing was over. I remember standing in front of the mirrors holding our beautiful children just after our second child was sealed to us. We were looking into eternity, together, there is absolutely nothing more perfect than a moment like that. It is all such a miracle to me.



Issac, Kristi, Andrew, Ramsey & Hannah



Our birth mother

I was pleased to be invited to tell something about our story for the Houston FSA blog. Our adoption journey started in Houston, although we didn’t adopt there. We also didn’t adopt through LDSFS, despite trying to do so for about 3 ½ years. We ended up adopting through a private agency in Utah.

Originally I thought I would tell about our adoption journey – from infertility, to waiting, to finally – after six years of marriage - adopting our beautiful little girl, to the very quick and miraculous adoption of our baby boy. It’s a beautiful story and one I like to share, but I decided to share a different story on this blog – the story of Jalen’s birth mother.

I should start with Baylie, our daughter. Her adoption was closed by request of her birth mother. I’m a little ashamed to admit that having a closed adoption was a relief for me. It made things easier and less complicated, at least for now. I didn’t have to “share” my little girl. I worried about how it would affect Baylie, but as for me – I was happy with the situation.

In January, we started considering a second adoption. We didn’t know why, but we felt pressed to get ready as soon as possible. We contacted our agency, updated our paperwork, sold a car and scrambled to find financing - then prepared to wait. We learned of a couple of babies being born in March and figured that would give us a little bit of time to get ready. We were completely caught off guard to receive a call five days later telling us a little boy had just been born in Virginia and was ours if we could get on a plane that night. Jalen’s birth mom not only wanted an open adoption, but she also wanted us to promise to visit her on a regular basis. I was a little nervous about this arrangement, but had received confirmation that this was supposed to be our little boy. Plus, I wanted to honor his birth mother’s wishes.

We first met Jalen’s birth mom in the hospital the day after his birth. It had taken us 13 hours to get there. We drove straight from the airport to the hospital. I can't really describe the feeling of knocking on a hospital room door and entering to meet the mother of your future child. I'm not sure how I felt: excited? invasive? nervous? She was holding her little baby. I asked her if she was okay and if she was comfortable with her decision. She asked if I wanted to hold the baby. I told her no, that I would have plenty of time to hold him and I wanted her to hold him as long as possible. I showed her the picture we had brought for her of our family. I'm not sure if she knew about Baylie before that, but she seemed relieved to see the picture. We talked a little bit about ourselves. She was a sweet girl and she loved her little boy. Later in the day as I heard her talking to her sister on the phone, she cried as she explained that she had to do this because she knew it was the best thing for her baby. It brought tears to my eyes as well.

Legally when you adopt a child, you can name the baby whatever you want. In the case of Baylie, we have a closed adoption, so we gave her a completely different name from the one her birthmother had selected. In the case of Jalen, his birthmother seemed very concerned that we would change his name, so out of respect for her, we kept the first name she had chosen, Jalen. It was hard for me not to give Jalen the name I had always planned for my first born son. The name we had planned on had family connections and a deep meaning for us. I realized that in some ways, I would now be sharing a child with another woman. This caused conflicting feelings in me and more than a little guilt over the fact that I felt conflicted.

For a variety of reasons on both our parts, our follow-up visit with Jalen’s birth mom was postponed twice. When we were finally able to schedule a visit, we traveled across the country, capped off by a 10-hour round trip drive in order to meet with her. Unfortunately, at the last minute, she decided she wasn’t ready to meet with us. In my heart, I know she wanted to see Jalen. I think it was just emotionally too hard for her and she admitted she didn't know how to act around us and was uncomfortable. My husband David was very kind on the phone. He reassured her that we didn't think poorly of her and that instead we respected her for her decision to place her baby with us. He was amazing. I was disappointed, sad and angry, but also a little relieved. I felt we had lived up to our promise and her decision not to see us gave me a way out of having to visit again.

We continued texting back and forth, and I kept sending her pictures, but I didn’t plan on visiting her again. I know this doesn’t make me sound like a very good person. I was scared. I didn’t know what our relationship would be like, I knew her family didn’t support the adoption, I didn’t know what it would be like for Jalen, and I worried about how Baylie would feel. And most of all, I didn’t know what it would be like for me as his mother to be around the woman who gave birth to Jalen. Would we have to define which of us was his “real” mother? And if so, which of us would it be?

This is where the Lord stepped in yet again. My husband was applying to graduate schools and we ended up in South Carolina, just five hours away from Jalen’s birth mother. And as time passed, I knew the right thing to do for all of us – especially Jalen – was to meet. His birth mom was very excited when we set up the second meeting.

We drove five hours to meet her. At first, we thought she was going to cancel on us again. But then she walked through the door. It was kind of awkward at first. I wasn’t sure what to do. Should we hug? Shake hands? Nothing? But my awesome husband just jumped up and gave her a big hug, so I followed suit. Before long the ice was broken and we just started talking.

As for Jalen, from the time he woke up in the morning, it seemed like he knew something was happening. He was really excited and couldn't contain himself - kicking and squirming and squealing. Jalen doesn't normally take to strangers. He keeps a very straight face and stares them down. Sometimes it's a little embarrassing. But he loved his birth mother from the very beginning. He knew she was someone special. He smiled for her and reached out to her. It was beautiful to see. I was surprised that I didn’t feel jealous at all. I just felt joy.

It meant a lot to us to have Jalen’s birth mother tell us that she is happy with her decision and knows she made the right choice. Her family has not been very supportive and I think she is a strong woman to have made the choice and to stand by it. We also learned that she had looked at other couples before us, but never felt right about it. She said that once she met us, she knew we were the right family for Jalen. I told her that his joining our family was truly a miracle for us.

I wasn't sure what this visit would be like, but it couldn't have been better. It was really wonderful for all of us. I realized that we are both Jalen’s “real” mother; we can share him without infringing on one another. We can both love and appreciate each other for the distinctive roles we have played and will play in his life. She has blessed me by choosing me as the adoptive mother for her son and I have blessed her by giving him a nurturing and loving home. We’re on the same team.

I look forward to future visits. I’m not scared any more. I’m incredibly happy that Jalen will know his birth family. What a blessing. I now hope and pray that one day Baylie’s mom will feel the desire to reach out and get to know her beautiful little girl.


Note: I received permission from Jalen’s birth mom to use her picture in our family blog, but out of respect for her privacy, I don’t use her name.

Adopted

Nathan (15) commentary on the blessings of adoption.


I’ve never thought about it. It just feels like I’ve lived a normal life.

Grateful for adoption, yes, but don’t know what kind of life I would have lived if I hadn’t been adopted.

Curious about my birth mom, who she is and what she looks like.

Blessings of adoption:

Gospel: My birth mom was not a member of the church, and she made sure she gave me to a family who were members. She wanted me to go through LDS social services, so that I could be with an LDS family. I’m grateful to be sealed to my family for time and all eternity.

Family: I’m glad I have a mom and a dad. I can’t imagine life without my dad, it would be really hard because he helps me with things a mom just can’t. He is a great example to me. He has taught me many skills, like how to take care of the yard. He’s shown me how to honor and hold the priesthood. He has shown me how to use the priesthood to bless lives. He has given me many blessings that have shown me how much Heavenly Father and he love me. My mom is a great example, and teaches me how to be kind and loving, and I’m glad she’s here for me. She wanted to be my mom, she wanted that responsibility, and she was able to do it. I’m grateful for all that my parents have done for me. I can’t imagine life without my parents. I have an older sister who has been a good example and has been a great mentor for me socially and emotionally. She was a great big sister. My sister, Corrine is one of my best friends, and is fun, and loving. I wouldn’t know how to live without her, and she wouldn’t know how to live without me. We’ve always been there for each other, through good and bad.

Life: I’m grateful to be alive. My birth mom could have made a choice to not have me. I’m glad she felt my life was important enough to have me, and then give me a chance with a stable and good family.

This was typed by Nathan’s mom, while we discussed adoption. Nathan isn’t a talkative individual, so we discussed, mom typed, and then asked if it was accurate. Nathan feels this is accurate.

How adoption has blessed my life!!

My husband and I married and looked forward to having a family, as many young couples do. But after trying to have children and having no success, we began our journey and work of obtaining a family. After 5 years, fertility treatments, and much prayer, we were blessed with our first daughter. After her birth, we again struggled with infertility, again sought help, but to no avail. Within two years of her birth we began to consider adoption. We had actually been certified through LDS Social Services when I found out I was pregnant. Our oldest was 4 years old at the time. But I miscarried at 14 weeks. So, we continued with the adoption process. Three years later we had an opportunity to adopt a little boy in a private adoption. The attorney placed the baby in our home prior to the birth mom signing her paperwork, which we were happy about because getting the baby early helped us begin the bonding process. The birth mom just couldn't go through with it, and we had to give the baby back after 5 days. So, though a hard experience, our family was still determined to adopt and have a family, definitely feeling that there were more children for us before our family would be complete. About a year later, having felt we had done all we could do, and leaving it completely in the Lord's hands, I found out I was pregnant. We were so grateful our prayers had been answered, and two days later got a call from Social Services letting us know we had a baby boy ready to be adopted. We were stunned and elated. We had miscarried the last pregnancy so felt even if this pregnancy worked out, we would want our son. He was for certain the little baby we had prayed for. Again, our gratitude overflowed for the blessings the Lord had given us, and marveled at His sense of humor giving us two at the same time!! God is certainly in control of our opportunities and families as they grow and develop.

It's hard to describe the feelings we had as a family of three going into LDS social services to see our baby for the first time. We had finished all of the paper work and with great joy were escorted to a room full of satin comforters and pillows, with our baby boy lying in the crib waiting for us. The minute we walked in the room all eyes were on him, and his eyes were on us, and he smiled at us. He was only 8 days old. I don't know how it happened, one might say a moment of gas for him, but for us, it was the first confirmation that he and we knew we were meant for each other.

He has always been a joy, was a wonderful baby, so happy all the time. We have been amazed as he has grown, to see his unique personality from day one continue into the young man he is now, a happy, easygoing soul. He has always been so sensitive to others needing assistance and from the time he was very young always loved to help and assist anyone who would allow him to help. He has a very special gift in this way.

He is our son. Very early on I prayed to know for certain that he was to be in our home, and had a very overwhelming feeling of joy and comfort as I prayed which let me know he was always suppose to be with us. We had him sealed to us when he was about 8 months old, after the adoption was final.

Our journey with Nathan has been a great blessing for all of us because we felt our family was complete after the adoption and then birth of our youngest child. We are a family with the same issues, problems, joys and concerns of all families. We have never felt our children were more or less ours by the way they came to our family. They are equally loved and cherished, equally our children and on loan to us from their Heavenly Father. We have need to be so careful as we raise them to be people who love their Father in Heaven, who will honor Him by being good people, good citizens, with good character. It isn't easy to do everything right, but it is interesting how many times I've had specific inspiration concerning my son, how the Lord wanted me to handle certain situations. Our Father in Heaven knows our son best and is watching over him. He equally has watched over our family as we have all been blessed by being a family. I'm so grateful for my family. It has been 15 years since my son came into my life. I'm so honored to have him in my home, and honored to be his mother. I'll ever be grateful to his birth mom for allowing him to live, and allowing him to come to our home.

Our adoption was closed, so we never met the birth mom. She was not interested in pictures, or letters. We don't know a lot about her. Nathan wishes he knew more. I think he may want to meet her when he turns 18, and I am 100% behind him if he does. It's hard for him not to know why he was a child that needed to be given to another. He knows a little about her struggles, but it's still a part of his life that he has questions about. So, I would love for him to meet her and ask all of his questions. I think it would be wonderful for him to see someone that looks like him, a connection to his unique qualities. I think it may be comforting to gain a clearer understanding.

Adoption blessed me because I get to know and have my son, a very special human being in my life, and in my family. It has blessed me with gratitude for the opportunity to have a family. It has blessed me to feel compassion for those who struggle to have families, and those who struggle with finding themselves pregnant and not ready for a family. It has enlarged my understanding of God helping all of us by especially giving children the opportunity to be in stable and healthy environments, allowing birth moms the chance to start again with time to make their lives successful, and infertile families the opportunity to have children to love and nurture. It has blessed me to know how much God loves all of his children.

We are all blessed to see the tenderness and emotion in the most sacred experience of bringing children into the world and working together in making sure they are given the greatest opportunity to be happy, and reach their potential. These are the blessings I've received because of adoption.

--Thanks to Greg and Gina for sharing their story

The Plan...

We were married in August of 2002, and like most couples, had a grand roadmap laid out for our life. Eric was attending graduate school, I was working full-time to pay the bills, and we both knew we wanted kids as soon as we could get them. Needless to say, our plan didn’t turn out to be “the plan.” We struggled with miscarriages for a few years before moving to Texas in 2005. Our luck didn’t improve with the change of scenery, and we eventually decided to try some options for infertility. Again, no luck. We were at a standstill of what to do next. Sometimes the hopelessness and grief was almost too much to bear. We did some major praying and asking what our next step was. I had always felt that adoption would totally be an option for us – I had several friends and relatives who had adopted and I thought it was great. However, it wasn’t nearly so easy for Eric to jump on the band wagon and feel comfortable with adoption. After quite a few long talks and a lot more prayers, we decided to meet with a social worker to find out more about the process. We met with Julie in early 2007, and even though we hefted a massive stack of paperwork home, didn’t make a whole lot of progress for the next several months. By July, I felt a major urgency to put our paperwork in. We finally got everything pulled together, and in late August we turned in the completed paperwork and were approved a few weeks later. Little did we know our family was about to get a little bigger.

On October 1st, we received a call from Julie where she informed us that there was a baby boy who was about 5 days old, and if we were interested, we were one of two couples the birth mom was thinking about. Can I tell you CRAZY emotions! Our birth mom was thinking it over that night and we would be informed the next morning about her decision. The next several hours were spent trying not to get our hopes up, and after a relatively sleepless night, we both went to work the next morning. We got the call at 11:00 Tuesday morning that we had been chosen to be the parents of this sweet little boy. To intensify the emotional roller coaster, the placement was scheduled for noon the very next day! We cried, celebrated, made calls to family, and made a ridiculous last-minute shopping spree to cover the bare necessities.

The next day started out a little crazy to say the least, but once we got to the placement, it seemed like the whole world simply paused. The only thing that mattered was what was going on in that tiny living room with a sweet birth mom, a precious little boy, and a very humbled and nervous couple. I can’t quite explain the sweet spirit that was in that room that day, but everything just felt… right. They had been calling him “Matthew,” and when they told us that his name meant “Gift from God,” we both felt that no other name could possibly match our thoughts and feelings any better. From that day until today, he truly has been a source of continual joy in our family.

About a year after Matthew came into our family, we started thinking about trying the adoption route again. By December 2008, we were approved again, and were anxiously hoping to expand our little clan. At the end of March, we once again received a call from Julie. This time the birth mom was in another state, and was leaning toward choosing us if all the legal stuff worked out. She was due roughly three weeks from that time, and we enjoyed the novelty of having “so much” notice as we started preparing. I thought often of this sweet girl whom I had not met, but was going through so much in her life and was facing one of the hardest decisions she would ever have to make. My heart truly ached for her. Much to our joy, the call finally came that she had chosen us. About one week later, another call came that she was in labor several days early, which led to some frantic flight reschedules and some record-pace suitcase packing. We were fortunate to be able to meet the birth mother and some members of her family both the day before the placement as well as the day of the placement itself, and I am so thankful for that little bit of extra time. The perfect ending to that particular adventure was that we were able to bring Cannon home – a beautiful baby boy named after the memorable town we stayed during the first week of his life in Oregon.

Life gives us so many chances to learn and grow as plans change. We are so thankful for the amazing blessing it is to have these sweet boys in our home, and to be on the receiving end of hugs, kisses, and tender moments of pure happiness and joy. Adoption has truly blessed our lives and the lives of those around us. We couldn’t have planned it better. :)

Our Happily Ever After…Getting Better and Better

Tight hugs (even the kind when all of sudden a little boy comes crashing into you knocking you over in a hug), whispered I love you’s, sandwich kisses, tickles, a little hand in yours, rocking a little baby and singing lullaby’s, a chubby finger holding tightly to yours, playing in the rain, and reading good night stories….being parents is better than we could ever imagine and we spent six years imagining what it would be like.

Our story starts out like many other Mormon couples, meeting in college, short courtship, short engagement so that we could marry in between semesters, marriage in the temple which would lead to living happily ever after. Like all families though, Heavenly Father had His own plans for us, plans that would teach us more about the atonement of our Savior, humility, turning our will over to Heavenly Father, and bring us closer together. We were taught all these during the six years we struggled with infertility listening to doctors telling us our chances were really good, after all, I had had two miscarriages during our second year of marriage. Slowly the positive outlook faded to years of hopelessness, feeling alone, anger, and frustration. There were also some happy times of course, but infertility was always a constant part of our life. These years were needed, a preparation for Zane and I making us stronger and ready to face our next stage of life.

After our last failed cycle, Zane and I spent a week in prayer and at the temple struggling to figure out what we were suppose to do for our family. We felt all hope was gone for us to be parents. It was then that we were reminded of the many promptings we had felt over the last year (we’re slow learners!) that adoption was the answer. As we learned more about it, we felt hope again. There was another way to become parents, and as we learned later, for us it is a better way. All of a sudden we had something else to focus on and new goals. Adoption gave us something new to pray for, a birth mom, instead of focusing only on ourselves.
During a meeting with our caseworker in December 2007, a young girl walked in, turned to Zane and I, and told us she picked us to be the parents of her baby. I think I went into shock. As I got to know our birthmom over the next two months, a bond formed that is unlike anything else I have experienced. I feel like we are sisters both playing a part in our son’s life. This is why placement is so hard. It was hard to watch someone you care deeply for hurt so badly as she places the baby she loves dearly into your arms. We learned more about sacrifice and love that day. Our birthmom was the strong and courageous one as she testified to us that this is what God wanted her to do. This was what was right for her baby. I have never met a more courageous woman.



Dallin with his birthmom’s, Zane’s and my hands

It is hard to put into words the joy we felt as parents. I remember one night when my oldest son, Dallin, was just barely a month old, I was extremely tired, covered in spit up and had just been peed on. It was then when I thought I am truly a mother. What a wonderful word! When we were first going through infertility, I kept thinking if I could just have one baby. That is all I’m asking for. I had to take those words back. Dallin was never meant to be an only child, and he was growing up too fast. We started with LDSFS again, but after a year, Zane and I both started feeling a push to look at private agencies. We finally acted on that prompting in June of this year. I was on the phone with a friend asking about the referral service she used to find her baby while Zane looked up the information on the website. The application took five minutes to fill out, so he did it without thinking much about it. Two days later we got a phone call that our information looked good and by the way there is a baby being born in Florida tomorrow, are you interested? Like with our first birthmom, I went into shock. But this time it was different. I had definitely not planned for a baby right then, had vacation plans the next week, and honestly didn’t want to drive to Florida. We had had a failed adoption the year before where we traveled out of state and came home empty handed. I never wanted to go through that experience again, and so was very scared of showing up at the hospital, having the birthmom take one look at my family and telling us to turn around and go on home. When we stopped and prayed about it though, we knew this was right. I thought I had learned this lesson, but apparently we still need practice at it. The greatest lesson adoption has taught us is that God’s plan for our family and His time table is the right one and better than we could ever plan for ourselves. We needed to turn our will over to Him. So we put our faith and trust in God, packed up our car, and traveled 16 hours with our two and a half -year-old son to meet his brother.
Adoption is miracles. There is no way to explain how either of our birthmoms and us got connected besides saying God’s hand was guiding it. I spent two days in the hospital with Gavin’s (youngest son) birthmom while Zane and Dallin were in and out (I didn’t want my mothering skills judged on how Dallin behaved cooped up in a hospital room which is no place for a two-year-old boy.) I was given strength beyond my own to handle the situation and words were given to me to know what to say and how to comfort. I’m grateful for those two days with Gavin’s birthmom and the friendship that was made.



Gavin with his birthmom, birth grandma, Zane and my hands

 I loved the moments I had with both boys when I could feel them looking deep into my eyes, and I knew these were my babies and they knew me. It is pure joy. Adoption also brings a little added blessing of being able to be sealed in the temple as a family. After my oldest son’s sealing, my friend asked me, “Labor room or sealing room, which one would I pick?” Sealing room hands down. I’m eternally grateful for two wonderful women who are our angels, our heroes, and I’m grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has given me the most wonderful little boys.

Adoption has blessed our lives.




Zane, Ariane, Dallin, and Gavin



November is National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption month.  We are celebrating by sharing how adoption has blessed the lives of those around us.  Thank you for your submissions we would love to hear yours if you haven't had time to share yet please send it in. 

Submissions Celebrating National Adoption Month

If you would like to share your story about how adoption has blessed your life click on the email me button on the sidebar of the blog and send it to Jenni. We'll let you know what date your story will be published!

Feel free to change names or keep names, send photos or not. But do share, please!

Our Story, Part I

Eleven years ago, when people could come and go inside airports as they pleased, I flew from Salt Lake to Atlanta to visit my sister. Upon leaving, she and two of her children were with me to say goodbye at the terminal, I was bawling, of course, you know the “ugly cry.” I was one of the last to board the plane and tried leaning forward to look through the window back into the terminal to blow one last kiss and wave good-bye to my tearful sister. Bad idea. Or maybe not.

Loaded down with packages and a fully stuffed backpack I lost my balance and smacked right into the gentleman in front of me. Humiliated I thought if I could just get to my seat and on the plane I’d just cry all the way to Houston and then on to Salt Lake. Lo and behold that gentleman was seated next to me on the flight. That flight and an email account changed my life.

One year and multiple life changing moments later we were married. I was 32 and officially a late bloomer. I had no idea how late “to the party” I was. There was no question we wanted children and assumed all that would just naturally fall into place...after all hadn’t I done everything I was supposed to? Followed all the YW lessons, stayed true to my temple covenants, repented, stayed active, taught Gospel Doctrine, Relief Society, read my scriptures, prayed? But all too soon the procreative years were falling off the precipice of reality and the crushing weight of childlessness in a child-filled church was overwhelming. The fasting, prayer, and temple attendance so familiar to most of you became our lifeline. The Savior was the only one able to pull us through and he did in a most beautiful, tender way.

Our birthmother was 12 when we were married. We hadn’t met {in this life} yet. She would have been far too young and innocent for the experience ahead had she become our birthmother on my time table. I’m thankful for “unanswered” prayers. And so the 7 years that felt so precious, irretrievable and long-gone to me were the right amount of time for her to have the maturity necessary to make the most difficult and painful decision of her life. She is the most radiant, intelligent, and beautiful woman and birthmother I have ever met. And she gave us the daughter of our dreams who is also radiant, intelligent and beautiful. I feel so very blessed by them both. And in the process we gained an entire family to love and cherish.

Our polynesian birth father inaugurated us into the trans-racial world of adoption. We love him for giving Sydney a treasured heritage and the other half of her “designer” genes, as we like to call it.

Placement was its own form of painful, intense labor, and not because there was ever a risk or question but because we loved this family so much we could hardly bear to see them suffer through the events that transpired 48 hours after Sydney’s birth. It was tremendously joyful to bring home the most beautiful baby known to man but also tinged with heartache, sorrow, and loss. It is difficult to describe and for many difficult to understand.


Sydney made everything better. The sun shone again. Birds sang. The world was new and exciting. Mark and I raced to be the one to feed her in the middle of the night. The one who got to her first got to rock her while the other made her bottles. She had the full and devoted attention of two people who had waited and anticipated her arrival for 7 long years {and you might as well know, I waited not just 7 years but my whole life for her. I came to earth wanting nothing more than to be a mother}. I felt that if she was all there ever was, she was more than enough. But the Lord had more in store...

Our Story, Part II

Somewhere along the way we felt like we had so much love to share. There was that nagging little feeling that another spirit was waiting and the spirit seemed to whisper, “Hurry up.” Within days of completing our application with LDSFS we were chosen by a birthmother who was carrying a son. Mark’s dream was about to come true. It all seemed so “meant to be” and yet didn’t feel quite right. There were lots of complications and other issues kept cropping up. It was a very stressful time. All the while I was trying to shield Sydney from disappointment and pain. Our adoption plan headed south. We decided to go private. Flippantly I thought, “it will never work. We can’t afford it. I want a birth mom I can connect to like I did the first time. I’ll just trust in the Lord. Surely, He understands and knows my plan.”

A week later I was in the throes of preparing my keynote speech for girls camp; readying myself for youth conference and getting my house spruced up  for my mom and sister’s arrival. They were going to stay with Sydney while I went to camp and fulfilled all my many church assignments. Meanwhile Mark had continued to pursue the private course,  finding a referral service and identifying potential situations for which we would be considered. He identified two. I nonchalantly agreed hardly paying attention to the details of birth parents, race, or due dates. Afterall, I had prayed and agreed to “just trust in the Lord” advise the Lord as to what my desires were again!

As the Monday before camp arrived I said something like this in my morning prayer, “Dear Heavenly Father, I’m thankful {fill in the usual phrases including all my many blessings}...but you know what my week looks like and you know all the many things I have to get done to be prepared to teach and be with the young women...please help me get all these things accomplished.” Had I actually been listening I think I may have heard him tell me, “Yes, many things my dear, but I have another plan in store for you and it will be hard but I will help you get it done. I promise.” Instead I packed everyone up and headed off shopping for swag to give out at camp and off to the zoo. It was a hot day in June. Texas hot.

As we got back to the car and started re-hydrating Sydney my cell phone rang. I answered and Mark told me we had been chosen and needed to be in Tyler as soon as possible to pick up our son. Dumbfounded. I was so shocked I asked him what the baby was a boy or a girl. The “duh” in his voice was pretty gentle considering he’d just told me we needed to pick up our son. I was overwhelmed. This was nowhere on my list. I checked it twice. Nope.



We made phone calls, arrangements, excuses and left town to meet our son and his birthmother. We spent two hours going over names and finally agreed to leave it alone for awhile. We met our 2nd birthmother who was very different from our first. I can’t imagine her pain and sorrow {I know we always say that but seriously...} except I know that the 11 month-old jumping on the bed, throwing his bottle, and hitting the baby, and who was also her first son gave her every evidence she needed to know that both boys would suffer if she tried to single parent two boys under one and she knew it. Originally she had planned an abortion but couldn’t go through with it and so, called an agency to make an adoption plan. Though I don’t think she seriously considered backing out she did delay signing for nearly 9 hours. I was so nervous I sprayed Sydney down with hairspray thinking it was sunscreen and couldn’t figure out why she was so sticky as we played at the park while waiting. That little spark who came virtually out of the dark became our #2, as well.



Samuel was such a shock. It was a breeze to buy things for him but an adjustment to get used to the idea of being parents to two. He quickly stole our hearts and has found that we are just as eager to be his parents and champions of his milestones. His gifts and talents are equally amazing and we delight in his brilliance, humor, and quick wit. He has blessed our lives immeasurably and taught us things we’d never have known. He draws people into conversation and has such a sparkle about him {except when he is screaming bloody murder so he doesn’t have to go to nursery}.

Adoption was never on my radar growing up. It wasn’t meant to be my story, don’t you know? I had written a totally different story for myself and as it turns out, it would have been a cheap dime store novel but the Lord put me among the best-sellers with his version and in time I hope he is able to turn us into a “family classic.” We love the Savior and are grateful for his plan. We’ve learned so much about the principle of adoption and hope to be able to continue the symbiotic process of sharing and learning from the members of FSA, Houston and San Antonio. I’m sure you’ve got a few best-sellers, yourself and we are anxious to “read” every single one!

Please come and be a part of what is going to be a wild and wonderful year!

Reins and Responsiblity

Hi! My name is Sylvia. My husband is Mark. We have been given the opportunity to serve as the co-chairs for Families Supporting Adoption, Houston Chapter. Thus we've been given the Reins of Leadership and the Responsibility to offer something of worth to those we serve.

I am excited about this for two reasons. First I have two tremendous blessings who happened to come to us through the power of adoption. So...does this sound familiar? "Because I have been given much I too must give..."

Second, as a group we have so much to give to each other in way of information, ideas, and stories that can bless each other. Our children will benefit from our willingness to "bear one another's burdens" and sometimes, "mourn with those who mourn."

I, of course hope that there is more joy than mourning among us but we have been given to each other to know and understand--even empathize in a way that others who have not worn these shoes cannot.

To those in San Antonio with whom we share this blog and this bond, "hello!" I look forward to meeting you. I have been reading over your blogs and profiles. I am enjoying getting to know many of you and hope to have a chance to get to know you. I suppose it is only fair for you to get to know our family. Over the next few days I will "reveal" {haahaa} our story to you on this blog. Are you excited? We also have a group on Face Book {or is that one word now}. If you'd like an invitation, request one. I'll try to email the Houston Group. Search for it on FB as Families Supporting Adoption, Houston Chapter. I think you'll find it. It may also be on my profile {I'm excited to answer your friend request and induct you into our FB Group!}

Exciting things are in our future. I do look forward to getting to know you better. Please join us on this leg of our journey and let's make it memorable indeed!

First Aid and CPR Class in our area

I just found out about this class, if anyone needs to update or certify for their adoption.
Jenni


First Aid & CPR class
Date: October 16, 2010
Place: LDS Church 16333 Hafer Rd. Houston, Texas 77090
Time: 9:00am. to 1:00pm.
Cost: $30.00 per person

These classes provide the very latest guidelines in CPR for an adult, child and infant. The latest in the most effective educational techniques and technologies to teach you the current guidelines for first aid and resuscitation..

Please call or email me and let me know you are interested in taking the class... I will need your payment by Oct. 13th... Mail your checks to: Lucy Stern 15707 Autumnbrook Dr. Houston, Texas 77068 Space is limited so let me know if you are interested....I need to turn in the number of people attending by the night of the 13th. so that they can get their materials together.

If you have questions, please contact
Lucy Stern, Houston North Stake
281-444-8504

Regional conference in Dallas

Families Supporting Adoption and
LDS Family Services Agency
Representatives Serving Birth Parents and
Women Exploring Options

Invites you to our Regional Conference
“Faith Precedes the Miracle”
Please join us in Celebrating Adoption.

Friday, September 17th and
Saturday, September 18th, 2010


Friday night @ 6:30 pm, our keynote speaker will be
Dallas Temple President Duane Gerrard.
He will speak at the Meandering Way Building,
14740 Meandering Way, Dallas, TX 75254
For those who are endowed, a temple session will follow.
Church dress, please.

Saturday from 9:00 am to 4:00pm, we will have education
classes at the Midway Building,
6545 W Plano Pkwy, Plano TX 75093
Nice casual dress. Lunch will be provided.

Please RSVP to the Dallas Office @ (972) 242-2182 by Sept.10th.
*Fee for the conference will be $10 per person.
We look forward to seeing you!

National FSA Conference details

Please visit this link for the opportunity to donate to the this great service project at the national FSA Convention.

http://familiessupportingadoption.blogspot.com/2010/06/fsa-national-conference-service.html


Calling all artists!

We are looking for art to put on display during our annual Families Supporting Adoption Conference this July. We all have been touched by the miracle of adoption and know how bitter and sweet that journey is. This is an opportunity to share a piece of your journey with others. All are invited to share their love for adoption through art, whether by craft, photography, sculpture, poem, or paintings.


Deadline: July 1st

All who want to participate will need to submit a photo of their art through email by the deadline to: cutefamilyof5@gmail.com

Photos need to be added as an attachment and in jpeg format. Please include artist's name, title of the work, medium, date completed, and size of the piece.


Art selected will be on display during the FSA conference at the Davis Conference Center July 30-31st.

All art from children will be displayed on a children's wall.

We hope you will want to join us and share your creative side