Like so many couples, we too faced difficult trials over the years following our marriage with infertility. Heartache, sadness, the emotional roller coaster of failed fertility treatments and overall trials of our faith…you name it, we probably experienced it during this phase of our lives as we desperately tried to grow our family. But like so many, we finally came to the conclusion through sincere fasting, prayer and several priesthood blessings that adoption was the path our Heavenly Father wanted us to be on.
In 2005, we began our paperwork with the LDS Family Services-Houston office. In the midst of completing the paperwork, a job opportunity and move brought us back to East Texas to live (where both Jody and I grew up) and our adoption file was transferred to the LDS Family Services-Dallas office as a result. We felt such love and support from the Dallas office during this time as we worked to complete our necessary adoption paperwork. They were amazingly supportive and attentive through the entire process. We were approved in early 2006 and added to the waiting list of adopting couples. It was an exciting time yet also a time where we had to put our trust in the Lord and know that He would lead us to our son or daughter someday if we would just be patient in His timing.
In June of that same year, we received a call from our adoption counselor with what he called a rather unconventional request. A birthmom had been holding on to our profile for some time and had requested to speak with us on the phone. Our adoption counselor explained that this was not normally something that was done and wanted to know if we were comfortable speaking with her. We didn’t think twice about it…in our minds, we really didn’t have anything to lose by doing so. At least it was an opportunity for us to talk with a birthmom, something neither of us had an opportunity to do prior to this. So the next evening we got a phone call from her. I remember Jody and I both being on separate phones in our house and my heart was pounding so fast as we began our conversation. We really had no idea what to expect and what she might ask us. Over the course of our conversation, she told us about herself and her family. How she had come to the decision to place her baby and that she had received our profile in March and for some reason, kept coming back to us in her search for adoptive parents. She explained to us that she had narrowed her decision down to us and another couple from a different adoption agency. We also learned that she was having a baby boy and was due at the end of August. We ended the conversation by telling her how much we admired her for her decision to place her child and encouraged her to pray about her decision and the feelings she had while she was on the phone with us. Jody told her that if she felt strongly after praying about it that she should place her son with the other couple, then that is what she should do. Our feelings would not be hurt because we wanted her to make the decision that she felt would be best for her son. We told her we were so grateful for the opportunity to speak with her and to get to know her better. And, after two hours talking, our conversation ended.
A few days later we got a call from our adoption counselor saying that the birthmom had more questions for us but that she had requested we meet in person. Again, he wanted to know if we were comfortable doing this. And once again, we didn’t think twice about it. We were ecstatic to have this opportunity to meet her in person. The next day we drove to Dallas to meet her.
I will never forget that day as long as I live.... when she walked into the room, 8 months pregnant, we were overwhelmed with love for this dear mother. The magnitude of her decision hit us both like a ton of bricks and we had to fight back our tears. We saw and felt firsthand the immense courage she had to put her child's needs above her own wants and desires. We weren't quite sure what would occur during our meeting, for we were under the impression she was still trying to make her decision as to who her son’s adoptive parents would be.
Within 5 minutes of sitting down with her and talking more about our lives...she very calmly said, "I have made my decision and I want you to adopt my baby." She then went on to say how she knew this the minute we got off the phone with her during our initial phone conversation (a few days prior); however, she had waited purposely to tell us because she wanted to see and feel our reaction in person when we heard the news. Tears of heartfelt joy and gratitude flowed freely at this moment--by all three of us. And despite the fact that we walked into that room on that day as strangers, we embraced each other as parents together --all three of us. It felt as if we had known each other long before this meeting.
We also had a chance to meet another special person on this day… a special lady who played an important role in all of this. For you see, our birthmother was not of the same faith as us; however, she became associated with our church after her mother joined several years ago. Soon after our birthmom found out she was pregnant, a dear sister (Jeannine) in her mother's ward befriended her. Jeannine, at the time, was serving as the liaison for the church and birthmothers in her area. Jeannine introduced our birthmom to LDS Family Services. Because our birthmother did not have adequate transportation or the financial means to travel to the Dallas LDS Family Services office on her own, Jeannine drove her (a 2 hour round trip) once a month...sometimes twice a month....to meet with the adoption counselor and look at prospective adoptive couple profiles.
We learned in our conversation with Jeannine that as they would make their drive to the Dallas office, our birthmom began to open up to her about the tough decision she had ahead of her. Jeannine would patiently and thoughtfully listen to her during these discussions and offer up counsel when asked.
What amazed us in our conversation with Jeannine was when she explained how she herself began to receive strong promptings from the Spirit that we were to be Little Man's parents. We (yet again) were humbled beyond words as we listened to her share this experience and the realization that both she and the birthmom had received powerful promptings from Heavenly Father about our son coming to our home.
What a reminder this was for us that God's hand is in our lives...sometimes when we don't even realize it. We will forever be grateful to Jeannine for listening and heeding the promptings of the still, small voice by continuing her Christ-like service to our birthmother.
Just one month after our son was born; Jeannine was called to be the Relief Society President in her ward and therefore was released from her calling of working with birthmothers. You might find it interesting to know also that during this time, our son’s biological mother was the only birthmother Jeannine had the opportunity to work with. We believe that she was called to serve in this role for one single purpose...to help Heavenly Father get our son to us.
On May 19, 2007, we had the tremendous blessing of having Jeannine, along with our son’s biological grandmother, join us in the temple the day he was sealed to us. It meant the world to us to have them both there to share this special moment with us.
Adoption is a path that is uncharted in so many ways...especially when you are experiencing it for the first time. We never imagined when we first began this journey that we would have the opportunity to become so intimately acquainted with our birthmother. Through this process, we were blessed to see and feel firsthand the deeply thoughtful journey she embarked on to select us as his adoptive parents.
It is our prayer that our son will come to know and understand as he grows older that she loved him dearly and this is why she chose adoption. We want him to know that his Father in Heaven’s hand was in his life from the very beginning, watching over and protecting him. How truly blessed we are to be his parents in this life and to be a forever family in the life to come. All blessings that came to us through the gift of adoption.
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