Is anyone paying any attention?

The editorial in USA Today highlights some of the consequences of single parenting. It just reconfirms my strong feelings about adoption being an integral part of the solution. It isn't the entire solution but when the number of unwed pregnancy equals roughly the number of families waiting to adopt it sure seems like there could be a little more cooperation on behalf of the children affected.

A message from the Chair

**image from Anthropologie

Make No Little Plans for they have 

no magic in them 

to stir men's souls. 

Spencer W. Kimball

As a freshmen at university I made a commitment to serve in student government. I learned so much but admit now that I was so immature in so many ways that I missed a lot of opportunities. After 2 years of service on a fluke I was elected as a student body officer. My grades were barely acceptable to keep me off academic probation. My stress level was off the chart and I had no idea how to administer my own life much less a student government office at a university. My greatest missed opportunity was the friendships I could have made and kept. In truth, I didn't make much magic that year.

I was a wreck, it's true, but I received an awesome education in spite of myself.  I met people who were smarter, cuter, more cultured, and more savvy than I and luckily I tried to soak up some of their knowledge instead of being too proud for my own good {though there was still a little of that, too}. At one of our leadership camps the theme was this quote by President Kimball. It was meant to inspire us to create and dream and plan for things that were bigger than we were. It was to help us motivate, serve and build others in ways that would in turn help them to pass that magic on. So much of what I learned was that what we do matters--and what matters is that we "stir men's souls." I have kept that quote in my heart for lo, these many years.

As the FSA chair for Houston I would love to stir your souls. I'd love to help people feel the magic of the gospel of Jesus Christ as it is manifest through the experience of adoption. I wish I knew how to unify our members together and give them a chance to build, motivate, and serve thus passing the magic on. From my lackluster responses in email and activities, though, I need to do better.

Tonight as I put Sydney to bed we were talking about Ephraim because her lullaby was the song, "Ye Elders of Israel" {strange, I know...maybe I'll explain in a later post} and she wondered what "going to mountains of Ephraim" meant. It was a terrific opportunity to talk about patriarchal blessings. I had an opportunity to share something in my blessing about her and it made me realize {yet again} that adoption is, dare I say, more than a miracle in so many ways.

Occasionally I've felt that because we had failed in our medical treatments anything else was not nearly as miraculous. I hadn't been "healed" and enabled to concieve and deliver, thus my friends who shared my path, until it came to final outcomes and theirs concluded with pregnancies and deliveries, were the ones who received THE miracles. Both paths are miraculous and not to be compared and thus diminished in the process, however, I must point out a few of the ways it is amazing because it is often lost in poor legislation and societal stigmas.

First, look at the odds that have to be overcome. There are over 1 million out-of-wedlock pregnancies in the US each year. Half of those babies lives are taken from them through abortion. The overwhelming majority of the other half are born to single mothers. There is a sparse 1% of babies who are placed. If you have been successfully placed with you are part of the 1%! It is like the odds of winning the lottery!! And though you would think that in our church the numbers would be higher because of the prophet's counsel and "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," you would be mistaken. Adoption is still the exception and not the rule among members of the church who experience unplanned pregnancies. People seem really hung up on their DNA.

Second, agency...and I'm talking about moral agency. If, as many of us believe including myself, that our children were meant to be in our family by divine design it took a correct use of agency and listening to the spirit by someone who had misused their moral agency and may have felt overwhelmed, small, intimidated, or anxious about placing a vital, glorious part of themselves with near strangers. C'mon! That is HUGE!! No wonder once we've experienced that love and yes, miracle! our birth mothers become our permanent heros and no craziness on earth on their part or otherwise is going to lessen them in our eyes or hearts.

Third, it is a privilege to see the atonement of Jesus Christ through the lense of adoption. The fact that another human being did for us what we could not do for ourselves is an integral symbol of the Savior and in that moment my humility and love for the Savior increased exponentially. The blessing of trusting the Savior, of knowing he had all of our best interests at heart was profound and while I think that every. single. mother does for her child what they cannot do for themselves {I'm speaking specifically of giving them a body} the miracle of watching someone step in to that place for me will forever remind me of Jesus Christ. In that there is a profound love and it didn't involve a stretch mark, rip, or tearing of my flesh to get me there {though I'll admit that my heart and soul required some major remodeling}.

So what does all this have to do with this New Year ahead of our chapter members? you may ask. Your magic will come in participating. We need committed, supportive members dedicated to advocating for adoption. Is the vision unclear? The goals nebulous? Let's nail those down...together. What is it you're hoping for from us, and don't say to be left alone, that is a mediocre response to the miracle you've been given.

Your participation has the potential to answer someone's prayer or lift another's hands that hang down. You can extend the balm of Gilead to one in need but only if you are present. We are all busy...so very busy. I'm in the trenches with you and have long days and short nights. It often seems that one more obligation or responsibility will be my undoing and I think I'm an idiot for taking on such a lofty responsibility with all my other duties. Surely you feel some of that as well. I don't want to add to your to do list something that doesn't make it into the "best" column of choices available but the reality is I probably will...until you find that magic of your own and because of your participation you offer someone a vision of what life can be in this sacred realm of adoption and their souls are stirred and their lives forever changed.

What will we do together in a synergistic effort to make no little plans? I'm excited to see. We'll be announcing a regular, old education meeting in the coming week or so...just finalizing the details. You may be pleasantly surprised when you discover what it is about...a little something for everyone perhaps? But it will also be a chance for you to express your hopes, desires, and dreams for FSA {do you have dreams for FSA? Okay probably not but you could...} We'll figure our goals out and see if we can make Big Plans chock full of Magic...the stuff to stir the hardest man's soul!

Over 24 years ago I experienced the mediocrity of little plans. I regret those little plans. I worked alone. I hope our year together in FSA will be quite the contrary.

Cheers to you and our big plans together!

Changing Plans

Dear Adoption Advocates,

As anyone who works on behalf of children knows, sometimes life gives you more than you bargained for.
Change of Plans is the fourth film in an initiative sponsored by Wal-Mart and P&G to bring back “Family Movie Night”. Change of Plans is the story of Sally and Jason Danville, a young couple with plenty of love, talent, and career opportunities - and no responsibilities. When Sally's childhood friend dies and entrusts her with four children, Sally and Jason begin a journey that changes the focus of their lives and expands their definition of family. Three of these four children have become siblings through international adoption, and the movie offers a challenging, heart-warming insight into the joys and struggles of building a family from a group of strangers.


·      Tune in: Saturday, January 8th at 8/7 on FOX
·      Spread the Word:  Send an email or newsletter to your members!
·      Share:   Post the trailer on your website & Facebook  or Twitter page  Change of Plans - Trailer
·      Visit :  http://www.moms4familytv.com/ for a discussion guide, essay contest information and more!            
·      Contact Moms4FamilyTV Representative,  Chandler Smith, for more information!

Chandler Smith
Moms4FamilyTV Partnership Representative
513-260-5328