My husband and I married and looked forward to having a family, as many young couples do. But after trying to have children and having no success, we began our journey and work of obtaining a family. After 5 years, fertility treatments, and much prayer, we were blessed with our first daughter. After her birth, we again struggled with infertility, again sought help, but to no avail. Within two years of her birth we began to consider adoption. We had actually been certified through LDS Social Services when I found out I was pregnant. Our oldest was 4 years old at the time. But I miscarried at 14 weeks. So, we continued with the adoption process. Three years later we had an opportunity to adopt a little boy in a private adoption. The attorney placed the baby in our home prior to the birth mom signing her paperwork, which we were happy about because getting the baby early helped us begin the bonding process. The birth mom just couldn't go through with it, and we had to give the baby back after 5 days. So, though a hard experience, our family was still determined to adopt and have a family, definitely feeling that there were more children for us before our family would be complete. About a year later, having felt we had done all we could do, and leaving it completely in the Lord's hands, I found out I was pregnant. We were so grateful our prayers had been answered, and two days later got a call from Social Services letting us know we had a baby boy ready to be adopted. We were stunned and elated. We had miscarried the last pregnancy so felt even if this pregnancy worked out, we would want our son. He was for certain the little baby we had prayed for. Again, our gratitude overflowed for the blessings the Lord had given us, and marveled at His sense of humor giving us two at the same time!! God is certainly in control of our opportunities and families as they grow and develop.
It's hard to describe the feelings we had as a family of three going into LDS social services to see our baby for the first time. We had finished all of the paper work and with great joy were escorted to a room full of satin comforters and pillows, with our baby boy lying in the crib waiting for us. The minute we walked in the room all eyes were on him, and his eyes were on us, and he smiled at us. He was only 8 days old. I don't know how it happened, one might say a moment of gas for him, but for us, it was the first confirmation that he and we knew we were meant for each other.
He has always been a joy, was a wonderful baby, so happy all the time. We have been amazed as he has grown, to see his unique personality from day one continue into the young man he is now, a happy, easygoing soul. He has always been so sensitive to others needing assistance and from the time he was very young always loved to help and assist anyone who would allow him to help. He has a very special gift in this way.
He is our son. Very early on I prayed to know for certain that he was to be in our home, and had a very overwhelming feeling of joy and comfort as I prayed which let me know he was always suppose to be with us. We had him sealed to us when he was about 8 months old, after the adoption was final.
Our journey with Nathan has been a great blessing for all of us because we felt our family was complete after the adoption and then birth of our youngest child. We are a family with the same issues, problems, joys and concerns of all families. We have never felt our children were more or less ours by the way they came to our family. They are equally loved and cherished, equally our children and on loan to us from their Heavenly Father. We have need to be so careful as we raise them to be people who love their Father in Heaven, who will honor Him by being good people, good citizens, with good character. It isn't easy to do everything right, but it is interesting how many times I've had specific inspiration concerning my son, how the Lord wanted me to handle certain situations. Our Father in Heaven knows our son best and is watching over him. He equally has watched over our family as we have all been blessed by being a family. I'm so grateful for my family. It has been 15 years since my son came into my life. I'm so honored to have him in my home, and honored to be his mother. I'll ever be grateful to his birth mom for allowing him to live, and allowing him to come to our home.
Our adoption was closed, so we never met the birth mom. She was not interested in pictures, or letters. We don't know a lot about her. Nathan wishes he knew more. I think he may want to meet her when he turns 18, and I am 100% behind him if he does. It's hard for him not to know why he was a child that needed to be given to another. He knows a little about her struggles, but it's still a part of his life that he has questions about. So, I would love for him to meet her and ask all of his questions. I think it would be wonderful for him to see someone that looks like him, a connection to his unique qualities. I think it may be comforting to gain a clearer understanding.
Adoption blessed me because I get to know and have my son, a very special human being in my life, and in my family. It has blessed me with gratitude for the opportunity to have a family. It has blessed me to feel compassion for those who struggle to have families, and those who struggle with finding themselves pregnant and not ready for a family. It has enlarged my understanding of God helping all of us by especially giving children the opportunity to be in stable and healthy environments, allowing birth moms the chance to start again with time to make their lives successful, and infertile families the opportunity to have children to love and nurture. It has blessed me to know how much God loves all of his children.
We are all blessed to see the tenderness and emotion in the most sacred experience of bringing children into the world and working together in making sure they are given the greatest opportunity to be happy, and reach their potential. These are the blessings I've received because of adoption.
--Thanks to Greg and Gina for sharing their story
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