The Plan...

We were married in August of 2002, and like most couples, had a grand roadmap laid out for our life. Eric was attending graduate school, I was working full-time to pay the bills, and we both knew we wanted kids as soon as we could get them. Needless to say, our plan didn’t turn out to be “the plan.” We struggled with miscarriages for a few years before moving to Texas in 2005. Our luck didn’t improve with the change of scenery, and we eventually decided to try some options for infertility. Again, no luck. We were at a standstill of what to do next. Sometimes the hopelessness and grief was almost too much to bear. We did some major praying and asking what our next step was. I had always felt that adoption would totally be an option for us – I had several friends and relatives who had adopted and I thought it was great. However, it wasn’t nearly so easy for Eric to jump on the band wagon and feel comfortable with adoption. After quite a few long talks and a lot more prayers, we decided to meet with a social worker to find out more about the process. We met with Julie in early 2007, and even though we hefted a massive stack of paperwork home, didn’t make a whole lot of progress for the next several months. By July, I felt a major urgency to put our paperwork in. We finally got everything pulled together, and in late August we turned in the completed paperwork and were approved a few weeks later. Little did we know our family was about to get a little bigger.

On October 1st, we received a call from Julie where she informed us that there was a baby boy who was about 5 days old, and if we were interested, we were one of two couples the birth mom was thinking about. Can I tell you CRAZY emotions! Our birth mom was thinking it over that night and we would be informed the next morning about her decision. The next several hours were spent trying not to get our hopes up, and after a relatively sleepless night, we both went to work the next morning. We got the call at 11:00 Tuesday morning that we had been chosen to be the parents of this sweet little boy. To intensify the emotional roller coaster, the placement was scheduled for noon the very next day! We cried, celebrated, made calls to family, and made a ridiculous last-minute shopping spree to cover the bare necessities.

The next day started out a little crazy to say the least, but once we got to the placement, it seemed like the whole world simply paused. The only thing that mattered was what was going on in that tiny living room with a sweet birth mom, a precious little boy, and a very humbled and nervous couple. I can’t quite explain the sweet spirit that was in that room that day, but everything just felt… right. They had been calling him “Matthew,” and when they told us that his name meant “Gift from God,” we both felt that no other name could possibly match our thoughts and feelings any better. From that day until today, he truly has been a source of continual joy in our family.

About a year after Matthew came into our family, we started thinking about trying the adoption route again. By December 2008, we were approved again, and were anxiously hoping to expand our little clan. At the end of March, we once again received a call from Julie. This time the birth mom was in another state, and was leaning toward choosing us if all the legal stuff worked out. She was due roughly three weeks from that time, and we enjoyed the novelty of having “so much” notice as we started preparing. I thought often of this sweet girl whom I had not met, but was going through so much in her life and was facing one of the hardest decisions she would ever have to make. My heart truly ached for her. Much to our joy, the call finally came that she had chosen us. About one week later, another call came that she was in labor several days early, which led to some frantic flight reschedules and some record-pace suitcase packing. We were fortunate to be able to meet the birth mother and some members of her family both the day before the placement as well as the day of the placement itself, and I am so thankful for that little bit of extra time. The perfect ending to that particular adventure was that we were able to bring Cannon home – a beautiful baby boy named after the memorable town we stayed during the first week of his life in Oregon.

Life gives us so many chances to learn and grow as plans change. We are so thankful for the amazing blessing it is to have these sweet boys in our home, and to be on the receiving end of hugs, kisses, and tender moments of pure happiness and joy. Adoption has truly blessed our lives and the lives of those around us. We couldn’t have planned it better. :)

Our Happily Ever After…Getting Better and Better

Tight hugs (even the kind when all of sudden a little boy comes crashing into you knocking you over in a hug), whispered I love you’s, sandwich kisses, tickles, a little hand in yours, rocking a little baby and singing lullaby’s, a chubby finger holding tightly to yours, playing in the rain, and reading good night stories….being parents is better than we could ever imagine and we spent six years imagining what it would be like.

Our story starts out like many other Mormon couples, meeting in college, short courtship, short engagement so that we could marry in between semesters, marriage in the temple which would lead to living happily ever after. Like all families though, Heavenly Father had His own plans for us, plans that would teach us more about the atonement of our Savior, humility, turning our will over to Heavenly Father, and bring us closer together. We were taught all these during the six years we struggled with infertility listening to doctors telling us our chances were really good, after all, I had had two miscarriages during our second year of marriage. Slowly the positive outlook faded to years of hopelessness, feeling alone, anger, and frustration. There were also some happy times of course, but infertility was always a constant part of our life. These years were needed, a preparation for Zane and I making us stronger and ready to face our next stage of life.

After our last failed cycle, Zane and I spent a week in prayer and at the temple struggling to figure out what we were suppose to do for our family. We felt all hope was gone for us to be parents. It was then that we were reminded of the many promptings we had felt over the last year (we’re slow learners!) that adoption was the answer. As we learned more about it, we felt hope again. There was another way to become parents, and as we learned later, for us it is a better way. All of a sudden we had something else to focus on and new goals. Adoption gave us something new to pray for, a birth mom, instead of focusing only on ourselves.
During a meeting with our caseworker in December 2007, a young girl walked in, turned to Zane and I, and told us she picked us to be the parents of her baby. I think I went into shock. As I got to know our birthmom over the next two months, a bond formed that is unlike anything else I have experienced. I feel like we are sisters both playing a part in our son’s life. This is why placement is so hard. It was hard to watch someone you care deeply for hurt so badly as she places the baby she loves dearly into your arms. We learned more about sacrifice and love that day. Our birthmom was the strong and courageous one as she testified to us that this is what God wanted her to do. This was what was right for her baby. I have never met a more courageous woman.



Dallin with his birthmom’s, Zane’s and my hands

It is hard to put into words the joy we felt as parents. I remember one night when my oldest son, Dallin, was just barely a month old, I was extremely tired, covered in spit up and had just been peed on. It was then when I thought I am truly a mother. What a wonderful word! When we were first going through infertility, I kept thinking if I could just have one baby. That is all I’m asking for. I had to take those words back. Dallin was never meant to be an only child, and he was growing up too fast. We started with LDSFS again, but after a year, Zane and I both started feeling a push to look at private agencies. We finally acted on that prompting in June of this year. I was on the phone with a friend asking about the referral service she used to find her baby while Zane looked up the information on the website. The application took five minutes to fill out, so he did it without thinking much about it. Two days later we got a phone call that our information looked good and by the way there is a baby being born in Florida tomorrow, are you interested? Like with our first birthmom, I went into shock. But this time it was different. I had definitely not planned for a baby right then, had vacation plans the next week, and honestly didn’t want to drive to Florida. We had had a failed adoption the year before where we traveled out of state and came home empty handed. I never wanted to go through that experience again, and so was very scared of showing up at the hospital, having the birthmom take one look at my family and telling us to turn around and go on home. When we stopped and prayed about it though, we knew this was right. I thought I had learned this lesson, but apparently we still need practice at it. The greatest lesson adoption has taught us is that God’s plan for our family and His time table is the right one and better than we could ever plan for ourselves. We needed to turn our will over to Him. So we put our faith and trust in God, packed up our car, and traveled 16 hours with our two and a half -year-old son to meet his brother.
Adoption is miracles. There is no way to explain how either of our birthmoms and us got connected besides saying God’s hand was guiding it. I spent two days in the hospital with Gavin’s (youngest son) birthmom while Zane and Dallin were in and out (I didn’t want my mothering skills judged on how Dallin behaved cooped up in a hospital room which is no place for a two-year-old boy.) I was given strength beyond my own to handle the situation and words were given to me to know what to say and how to comfort. I’m grateful for those two days with Gavin’s birthmom and the friendship that was made.



Gavin with his birthmom, birth grandma, Zane and my hands

 I loved the moments I had with both boys when I could feel them looking deep into my eyes, and I knew these were my babies and they knew me. It is pure joy. Adoption also brings a little added blessing of being able to be sealed in the temple as a family. After my oldest son’s sealing, my friend asked me, “Labor room or sealing room, which one would I pick?” Sealing room hands down. I’m eternally grateful for two wonderful women who are our angels, our heroes, and I’m grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has given me the most wonderful little boys.

Adoption has blessed our lives.




Zane, Ariane, Dallin, and Gavin



November is National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption month.  We are celebrating by sharing how adoption has blessed the lives of those around us.  Thank you for your submissions we would love to hear yours if you haven't had time to share yet please send it in. 

Submissions Celebrating National Adoption Month

If you would like to share your story about how adoption has blessed your life click on the email me button on the sidebar of the blog and send it to Jenni. We'll let you know what date your story will be published!

Feel free to change names or keep names, send photos or not. But do share, please!

Our Story, Part I

Eleven years ago, when people could come and go inside airports as they pleased, I flew from Salt Lake to Atlanta to visit my sister. Upon leaving, she and two of her children were with me to say goodbye at the terminal, I was bawling, of course, you know the “ugly cry.” I was one of the last to board the plane and tried leaning forward to look through the window back into the terminal to blow one last kiss and wave good-bye to my tearful sister. Bad idea. Or maybe not.

Loaded down with packages and a fully stuffed backpack I lost my balance and smacked right into the gentleman in front of me. Humiliated I thought if I could just get to my seat and on the plane I’d just cry all the way to Houston and then on to Salt Lake. Lo and behold that gentleman was seated next to me on the flight. That flight and an email account changed my life.

One year and multiple life changing moments later we were married. I was 32 and officially a late bloomer. I had no idea how late “to the party” I was. There was no question we wanted children and assumed all that would just naturally fall into place...after all hadn’t I done everything I was supposed to? Followed all the YW lessons, stayed true to my temple covenants, repented, stayed active, taught Gospel Doctrine, Relief Society, read my scriptures, prayed? But all too soon the procreative years were falling off the precipice of reality and the crushing weight of childlessness in a child-filled church was overwhelming. The fasting, prayer, and temple attendance so familiar to most of you became our lifeline. The Savior was the only one able to pull us through and he did in a most beautiful, tender way.

Our birthmother was 12 when we were married. We hadn’t met {in this life} yet. She would have been far too young and innocent for the experience ahead had she become our birthmother on my time table. I’m thankful for “unanswered” prayers. And so the 7 years that felt so precious, irretrievable and long-gone to me were the right amount of time for her to have the maturity necessary to make the most difficult and painful decision of her life. She is the most radiant, intelligent, and beautiful woman and birthmother I have ever met. And she gave us the daughter of our dreams who is also radiant, intelligent and beautiful. I feel so very blessed by them both. And in the process we gained an entire family to love and cherish.

Our polynesian birth father inaugurated us into the trans-racial world of adoption. We love him for giving Sydney a treasured heritage and the other half of her “designer” genes, as we like to call it.

Placement was its own form of painful, intense labor, and not because there was ever a risk or question but because we loved this family so much we could hardly bear to see them suffer through the events that transpired 48 hours after Sydney’s birth. It was tremendously joyful to bring home the most beautiful baby known to man but also tinged with heartache, sorrow, and loss. It is difficult to describe and for many difficult to understand.


Sydney made everything better. The sun shone again. Birds sang. The world was new and exciting. Mark and I raced to be the one to feed her in the middle of the night. The one who got to her first got to rock her while the other made her bottles. She had the full and devoted attention of two people who had waited and anticipated her arrival for 7 long years {and you might as well know, I waited not just 7 years but my whole life for her. I came to earth wanting nothing more than to be a mother}. I felt that if she was all there ever was, she was more than enough. But the Lord had more in store...

Our Story, Part II

Somewhere along the way we felt like we had so much love to share. There was that nagging little feeling that another spirit was waiting and the spirit seemed to whisper, “Hurry up.” Within days of completing our application with LDSFS we were chosen by a birthmother who was carrying a son. Mark’s dream was about to come true. It all seemed so “meant to be” and yet didn’t feel quite right. There were lots of complications and other issues kept cropping up. It was a very stressful time. All the while I was trying to shield Sydney from disappointment and pain. Our adoption plan headed south. We decided to go private. Flippantly I thought, “it will never work. We can’t afford it. I want a birth mom I can connect to like I did the first time. I’ll just trust in the Lord. Surely, He understands and knows my plan.”

A week later I was in the throes of preparing my keynote speech for girls camp; readying myself for youth conference and getting my house spruced up  for my mom and sister’s arrival. They were going to stay with Sydney while I went to camp and fulfilled all my many church assignments. Meanwhile Mark had continued to pursue the private course,  finding a referral service and identifying potential situations for which we would be considered. He identified two. I nonchalantly agreed hardly paying attention to the details of birth parents, race, or due dates. Afterall, I had prayed and agreed to “just trust in the Lord” advise the Lord as to what my desires were again!

As the Monday before camp arrived I said something like this in my morning prayer, “Dear Heavenly Father, I’m thankful {fill in the usual phrases including all my many blessings}...but you know what my week looks like and you know all the many things I have to get done to be prepared to teach and be with the young women...please help me get all these things accomplished.” Had I actually been listening I think I may have heard him tell me, “Yes, many things my dear, but I have another plan in store for you and it will be hard but I will help you get it done. I promise.” Instead I packed everyone up and headed off shopping for swag to give out at camp and off to the zoo. It was a hot day in June. Texas hot.

As we got back to the car and started re-hydrating Sydney my cell phone rang. I answered and Mark told me we had been chosen and needed to be in Tyler as soon as possible to pick up our son. Dumbfounded. I was so shocked I asked him what the baby was a boy or a girl. The “duh” in his voice was pretty gentle considering he’d just told me we needed to pick up our son. I was overwhelmed. This was nowhere on my list. I checked it twice. Nope.



We made phone calls, arrangements, excuses and left town to meet our son and his birthmother. We spent two hours going over names and finally agreed to leave it alone for awhile. We met our 2nd birthmother who was very different from our first. I can’t imagine her pain and sorrow {I know we always say that but seriously...} except I know that the 11 month-old jumping on the bed, throwing his bottle, and hitting the baby, and who was also her first son gave her every evidence she needed to know that both boys would suffer if she tried to single parent two boys under one and she knew it. Originally she had planned an abortion but couldn’t go through with it and so, called an agency to make an adoption plan. Though I don’t think she seriously considered backing out she did delay signing for nearly 9 hours. I was so nervous I sprayed Sydney down with hairspray thinking it was sunscreen and couldn’t figure out why she was so sticky as we played at the park while waiting. That little spark who came virtually out of the dark became our #2, as well.



Samuel was such a shock. It was a breeze to buy things for him but an adjustment to get used to the idea of being parents to two. He quickly stole our hearts and has found that we are just as eager to be his parents and champions of his milestones. His gifts and talents are equally amazing and we delight in his brilliance, humor, and quick wit. He has blessed our lives immeasurably and taught us things we’d never have known. He draws people into conversation and has such a sparkle about him {except when he is screaming bloody murder so he doesn’t have to go to nursery}.

Adoption was never on my radar growing up. It wasn’t meant to be my story, don’t you know? I had written a totally different story for myself and as it turns out, it would have been a cheap dime store novel but the Lord put me among the best-sellers with his version and in time I hope he is able to turn us into a “family classic.” We love the Savior and are grateful for his plan. We’ve learned so much about the principle of adoption and hope to be able to continue the symbiotic process of sharing and learning from the members of FSA, Houston and San Antonio. I’m sure you’ve got a few best-sellers, yourself and we are anxious to “read” every single one!

Please come and be a part of what is going to be a wild and wonderful year!

Reins and Responsiblity

Hi! My name is Sylvia. My husband is Mark. We have been given the opportunity to serve as the co-chairs for Families Supporting Adoption, Houston Chapter. Thus we've been given the Reins of Leadership and the Responsibility to offer something of worth to those we serve.

I am excited about this for two reasons. First I have two tremendous blessings who happened to come to us through the power of adoption. So...does this sound familiar? "Because I have been given much I too must give..."

Second, as a group we have so much to give to each other in way of information, ideas, and stories that can bless each other. Our children will benefit from our willingness to "bear one another's burdens" and sometimes, "mourn with those who mourn."

I, of course hope that there is more joy than mourning among us but we have been given to each other to know and understand--even empathize in a way that others who have not worn these shoes cannot.

To those in San Antonio with whom we share this blog and this bond, "hello!" I look forward to meeting you. I have been reading over your blogs and profiles. I am enjoying getting to know many of you and hope to have a chance to get to know you. I suppose it is only fair for you to get to know our family. Over the next few days I will "reveal" {haahaa} our story to you on this blog. Are you excited? We also have a group on Face Book {or is that one word now}. If you'd like an invitation, request one. I'll try to email the Houston Group. Search for it on FB as Families Supporting Adoption, Houston Chapter. I think you'll find it. It may also be on my profile {I'm excited to answer your friend request and induct you into our FB Group!}

Exciting things are in our future. I do look forward to getting to know you better. Please join us on this leg of our journey and let's make it memorable indeed!